Hannahs Diary 1992

Här fortsätter jag ur dagboken från när jag var sjuk i anorexia.
Tack för kommentarerna på det förra dagboksinlägget!
Jag har beslutat att man kan kommentera dessa inlägg...men det får vara mer som ett forum..har man något att skriva om ämnet är man välkommen. Frågor kommer jag självklart besvara men annars kommer jag inte kommentera tillbaka just på dagboksinläggen.
Jag vill säga att jag lider mer er som har syskon och vänner som befinner sig i detta helvete och jag  hoppas ni förstår att det enda man som syskon/kompis kan göra är att finnas där och försöka få den sjuke att se "livet"..men om den man känner är riktigt sjuk är det svårt....Det bästa man kan göra är att se till att det aldrig går så långt, att den man känner går ner för mycket i vikt..går man ner alldeles  för mycket är det en otroligt lång resa tillbaka!


Onsdagen den  22 JULI 1992
Puls:42  Blodtryck: 80/60

Morsning Korsning Dagboken!

Snart har jag genomlidigt en dag till på det här skit-stället....Klockan är snart 20 faktiskt.
Det är bara jag och två personla här på avdelningen just nu. Relativt LUGNT alltså. De övriga har dragit iväg med en pic-nic korg någonstans. Kan inte påstå att jag hade velat följa med....men..jag vet inte ens om jag hade fått följa med om jag hade velat eftersom jag bara får gå ut 30 /min per dag.=(
Det är såå jävla trist här att jag inte vet vad jag ska ta mig till snart...Idag har jag alltså varit ute och gått i 30 min(kanske 35...) och så var jag uppe hos Dr Klas och snackade med honom i ca 30 min. Han ÄR faktiskt en ganska bra och mänsklig doktor..trots allt. Det verkar liksom mer som han "tror" på mig nu, att jag kommer fixa det här förr eller senare liksom.
Jag blev förvånad själv att jag berättade så mycket för honom idag som jag gjorde...Och det VERKADE som han fattade en del av vad jag menade..iallafall.
imorgon fick jag "permis" mellan 14-17, då ska jag och mamma åka och gratta marie för hon fyller år. Det ska bli GANSKA kul..komma BORT HÄRIFRÅn lite!!! Sen på Fredag ska mamma, Klas och jag prata lite om hur det har  gått för mig den här veckan och disskutera NÄR jag kan få åka HEM igen!

Jag BÄVAR för imorgonbitti för det är TORSDAGS-MORGON= VÄGNING. Men..jag har bestämt mig för att jag inte ska dricka vatten innan den här gången....förra gången bäljade jag säkert i mig EN LITER vatten...
NU vill jag VETA vad jag EGENTLIGEN väger..Har faktiskt ingen aning...vi får väl se! Nu tror jag ändå inte jag klarar att dricka såå mycket vatten innan ändå när de tvingar mig att dricka så mycket ändå, mot vad jag gjorde när jag var hemma menar jag. Ändå är jag GLAD att jag slipper äta och dricka mer än jag gör...Jag äter och dricker ju inte alls lika mycket nu som när jag var här i våras, innan jag åkte på semester..men DEt klarar jag ju INTE AV just nu.

LISTAN jag har följt IDAG ser ut såhär:

Kl 8.00: 1 yoggi  150 ml
                1 fullkornsmacka
               1 tesked keso
                150 ml juice

Kl 10.15: 1 frukt (nektarin)
                  100 ml saft

Kl 12.00:  1 Veg portion från köket+ 150 ml saft

Kl 14.30: 1 frukt (äpple)+ 50 ml saft

Kl 17.15:  1 yoggi 150 ml
                   1 fullkornsmacka + 1 tesked keso
                 150 ml saft

 ska äta nu kl 21.00:  1 banan + 150 ml saft


Maria som också är här på avdelningen (fast nu på picnic) dricker tex. TVÅ FORTIMEL (näringsdrycker) till sina mellis + frukt...alltså..JAg skulle VÄGRA!!!

Mamma hade snackat med Petra  i telefonen idag. Petra hade ringt och frågat om jag var hemma för vi skulle egentligen gå ut ikväll.....Men då berättade mamma att jag skulle vara på sjukhuset åtminstone denna veckan för att äta & dricka lite mer..sååå..nu vet Petra iallafall om det.Hon ringer säkert hit imorgon.
Hanna kommer och hälsar på mig imorgon kväll. Hennes katt ska få katt-ungar nu snart, kanske redan denna vecka. Hon undrade om jag ville ha en..och..jag har faktiskt funderat på det..det kanske vore kul!
MEN om jag nu kan börja plugga sen i höst...undra om man får ha katungar på intenatet då?DET måste jag nog ta reda på....innan.

Här sätter jag punkt för idag. Stor Kram!


                
Hannahs Diary
23 kommentarer
Agnes

Usch, inte kul sådant. Läskigt hur snabbt ens förhållande till mat förändras när man är sjuk.

peter

Spana gärna in min nya "modeblogg" och har du något som du vill berätta så är det bara att maila!

Anna TopLook

Usch, men tacksam för att du orkar dela med dig av dina erfarenheter! Anna

Sara

Agnes: Det läskiga är hur fort det går. Allt börjar med en idé och två månader senare kan man vara dödssjuk.

Debbie

Gud va söt du är Hannah som delar med dig utav dina erfarenheter! Verkligen fint gjort, tror det kan vara till stor nytta *kram*

Sessan

Verkligt intressant att läsa. Starkt av dig att publicera. För mig som hade en kompis med anorexi blir dte lite "flashback". Jag minns det jag såg utifrån av "BUP-livet" och t ex Fortimel. Det fanns väl i t ex chokladsmak och ver faktiskt hyfsat gott vill jag minnas 8smakade lite). Men man ska ju börja ÄTA så fortimel i längden var väl inte så bra. Hon är dock frisk idag.

Verkligt ambitiösa dagböcker många skrev. Jag hade tyvärr aldrig den disciplinen...

Moa

Sorligt att läsa. Har själv haft ätstörningar och var nära att läggas in men istället fick jag samtal men stödgrupper och liknande. Du är stark som lyckats ta dig tillbaka! Kramar!

Goddess

När jag var 13- 14 år var det en tjej i en parallellklass som fick anorexia. Det var inte vanligt i min stad då på den tiden. Men huu vad hon såg ut. Jag kan ärligt säga att även om jag skulle behövt att banta lite då och då (och nu med)så har jag aldrig riktigt gjort det(bantat- bara tränat lite extra och undvikit godis vid vissa perioder- älskar mat!!)Fick värsta skräckupplevelsen av att se henne(grymt men sant). Starkt att dela med dig, vi andra har nog svårt att förstå. Kram :)

jennifer

läskigt... men e glad du övervann det!!:D det e bra!!:D matproblem är inget att skämta med!! särskilt dom sjukdomarna.. men vi kan nog aldrig förstå hur du kände dig i just de tiderna..men kan nog tänka mig det va hemskt.. kram

Cassie

Jag tycker det är starkt av dig att skriva om det nu! Är lite nyfiken dock, hur lång tid tog det från att du "började" tills du blev inlagd? Sköt om dig snyggo och ha ett gott nytt år! Kram

hannahsthlm

Cassie: Det känns som det är så länge sedan nu och att jag har distans till det..annars skulle jag aldrig skriva om något så personligt..om jag var uppe i det just nu! Kanske kan det hjälpa någon annan som inte tror att man KAN bli frisk..få ett "normalt" liv och friska barn!..eller jaa..vara intressant läsning för de som inte vet så mycket om sjukdomen!
Det gick väldigt snabbt för mig att bli riktigt underviktig..Jag började sluta äta helt i januari och blev inlagd med dropp i början av juni..Jag tyckte dock inte själv att jag var sjuk utan att jag mådde prima..då vägade jag 32 kilo! Helt sjukt när man tänker tillbaka...=/
Ett riktigt GOTT NYTT ÅR till dig också önskar jag !:) Kram!

emelie

hur gammal var du när du insjuknade, hur lång tid tog det innan du blev frisk, och sen undrar jag om du var inlagd på ett riktigt sjukhus eller psyket?

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